


She Hated to Say It

by CalamityStuffs



Category: Homestuck, Vast Error
Genre: Blackrom, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Caliginous-Flushed Vacillation (Implication), F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, Quadrant Vacillation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23241289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalamityStuffs/pseuds/CalamityStuffs
Summary: Jentha and Murrit have an argument that ends a little differently.
Relationships: Dismas Mersiv/ Murrit Turkin (implied), Dismas/Murrit (Vast Error), Jentha Briati/Murrit Turkin, Jentha/Murrit (Vast Error)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	She Hated to Say It

**Author's Note:**

> I have fallen deeply in love with Jentha/Murrit blackrom. Not to mention how good Vast Error tends to write blackrom so I got inspired! I also have the belief that aftercare is essential in a healthy blackrom relationship, especially if both parties are still learning each other's boundaries, cause a third party can't always be present! 
> 
> Also, it's still ROMANCE, so there is love it's just a different kind! 
> 
> So this is a little one-shot covering that idea as well as the conflicting feelings that having a pitch crush can be like. (Not to mention the angst of Quadrant Vacillation has in this universe ghjkl)  
> Also, when this takes place in the timeline is ambiguous!

“A-A-AND YOU’RE A W-W-WORTHLESS COWARD! S-S-STUPID FISH C-C-COWARD!”  
  
She screamed, her face hot from the effort and the dark feelings she held behind her words. She loved saying these things, as much as she hated to admit it. She loved unloading all her frustration onto him, the boy who got under her skin more then anyone she’s ever known. It heats her up inside, motivates her, makes her guts squirm in excitement over this stupid fish.   
  
As guilty as she felt for this stupid pitch crush she’s had for years, she couldn’t help herself to revel in the feeling of a blooming rivalry.   
  
“I KNOW OKAY, I KNOW! ...I know...”   
  
Wait.   
What happened?   
  
The fish boy in front of her drops to his knees. His shades slipping off his face to the point you can see his eyes filling with violet-colored tears   
  
“H-h-huh?” she questions herself   
“M-m-murrit? A-a-are you o-okay?” The hotness of her words now falling to the wayside. Her stomach is still turning, but concern now blooms on her face. As annoying as he is, his feelings still surprisingly matter to her. She doesn’t want to hurt him, she doesn’t want to hurt anyone really.   
  
She kneels down to his level, hunched in a ball. Unsure of whether it was okay to touch him, if he wanted her to touch him. She played with the hem of her pants as he softly started to answer. Built-up tears finally pouring out of his face.   
  
“I, know, I'm a coward. I'm a no-good piece of shit. All I do is hurt and ruin and steal, I'm… worthless”   
  
He starts to softly sob, taking off his stupid glasses and putting a hand over his face. His tears overflowing now, unable to stop the unfurling of repressed and masked emotions.   
  
She doesn’t know what to do. Her gut now lost of the heat and excitement from before, is filled with empathy. Her heart fills with understanding. She doesn’t know exactly what is causing him to cry, but the sentiment seems to speak louder than his generic words of self-hate.   
  
These feelings run deep, it's caused by something unforgivable. And, she happens to know the feeling.   
  
She reaches to hug him. She holds him tight as he openly and violently sobs in her arms. He feels so weak. She realizes then she always admired this fish boy for seeming so strong. Untouchable behind his cameras and screens. How easy he could brush off every insult she threw at him and how well he could bounce off every situation that happened.   
  
But here, he’s weak. His body feels frail and bruised under his clothes. Neglected and ignored.   
  
“O-oh Murrit. Y-you're so w-w-weak,” she whispers on his back. Concern and frustration line her voice and words. He’s supposed to be the tough one here, how could he still have been standing when he was talking to her? How could he still be smiling while they fought, how long has he been on the edge of the breaking point?   
  
He's scream sobbing now, letting it all out. His eyes shut tight as his voice rasps and scratches in his throat. Between sobs he yells into the void “I LOVE HIM, MY HEART BEATS RED FOR HIM AND I HATE IT. I DONT WANT TO RUIN HIM I DONT WANT TO RUIN IT I DONT WANT TO MAKE IT WASH AWAY AND HAVE IT BE ALL MY FAULT”   
  
Tears start to reach her eyes. She knows who he’s talking about. “I-I dont want t-t-to r-r-ruin it all...” she whispers under her breath, knowing the feeling deep in her heart.   
  
She grasps onto him as he does her. He’s getting quieter now, his tired voice spouting nonsense. Her shirt violet tear strained.   
  
“I love him too...” she whispers. Leaving the tail end of her sentence unspoken “and I hate you too”.

**Author's Note:**

> ALSO, I know Murrit is Agender and only presents masculinely. But because it's written from Jentha's perspective I don't think she actually knows that, at least in this story!


End file.
